sleepless.tanak pegi bole?

I'm done with packing2 barang. *sobbing*

tak suke sebenarnye. ya ampun. tanak feeling ni. padahal na pegi pektikel. nak pegi rase environment baru, jumpe orang2 baru, hidup baru. tp tak same. aku tau tak same. tak same perasaan mcm na fly pegi sarawak. mcm pegi china.

well, mebi dah mind set, aku pegi sarawak na mula masuk universiti.so damn excited. apetah lagi china. na pegi bercuti. bercuti dlm keadaan baru dpt result flying colors pulak.lg lah!

ok now, harus ber-packing dgn keadaan down gila babi. juga di bawah paras kerisauan after dpt medical report tempoh hari. Tuhan, I've to really to take care of my meal schedule. remarks, aku dah tak bole skip makan langsung. :(. dgn paper cost control yg berpeluang cerah utk repeat, dan harus bersiap sedia utk bekerja di bawah tekanan. sumber2 bole dipercayai mengatakan bahawa kerja hotel la berpotensi tinggi utk jd bahan bambu ketua2 korg.

sbg manusia positive, aku mengambil kata2 itu sebagai kata2 semangat. konon2 na sedapkan hati. sbg pesakit berdarah rendah, aku harus kuat. watdehel?

ok, aku tanak pegi sebenarnye. bole? suddenly perasaan ni dtg. jap2, bukan suddenly, da lame sebenarnye. awal2 je seronok. makin lame, makin tanak. dan beberapa jam sebelum berlepas, aku rase mcm geram dgn baggage dan barang2 yg dah di pack. rase na unpack balik.ya Allah, kenapa ni.

even practical, dan this is not the first time I'm having my practical training. but this time, different than practical tourism dulu. dulu, kau g opis, on lappy, tgk muvie. lunch time tido smpai punch card kua. ade event je kau kene pura2 muke bersungguh. knon2 byk keje. well, training govt mmg begitu. dtg opis hari2, kalau ade kakak2 bwk makanan, ha berlonggok la duk makan smpai jam 10. jam 10 klua alasan minum break. eh break smpai lunch time? ha cmtu la.

this time, aku tatau cmne flow keje die. tp bile dgr aku akan ditempatkan dlm 3 department, so assuming that satu department satu bulan. become a front liners, playing with those shit systems, imagine kitorg blaja system front office last semester. dpt ape?lect sgt sempoi smpai test pun die yg providekan jawapan.camne?

moving to housekeeping department. still can figure out how the real industry works. but keep imagine that industry just the same as we learn for the whole semester with mdm nora yg mcm mak tiri tak hengat.

kemas2 bilik n whatsoever. since hotel works 24 hours, so berdoalah supaya die tak letak budak practical in night shift. I've been experienced lots of paranormal incident at late night kat certain2 hotel yg kitorg penah duduk. contohnya mcm apartment kat a famosa melaka. wow. yg tu mmg the whole family kitorg kena. another hotel kt bukit feringgi, penang. mase tu pegi trip class. n puteri resort melaka olso. this is not kind of tahyul or whtsoever, but since da penah kene, its kind of trauma ekceli.adoi.

and another department will be banquet. ha di sini la sasaran paling best if korg dah jadi manager banquet nanti. kenape? sbb kalau ada masalah, bole lepas kat anak2 buah korg. to get clearer idea, mostly kene bambu kt department ni la. sasaran saja sbb di sini kite akan paling byk buat silap. damn son la! lets pray for better. jgn la mintak mende bukan2 ye dak. choy!

ok enough with mende2 yg tak best. be positive. dah try. tp mcm berperasaan sesuatu. mebi sbb parent na pegi umrah n aku tak pat hantar smpai airport. n 3 bulan tak pat blk hometown rase mcm bakal homesick yg melampau. just like time kat sarawak dulu. first time smpai, masa family nak balik, menangis tak hengat smpai demam 3 hari.

aku begitu kot. susah nak get used dgn keadaan. nak2 bile itu bkn tmpt aku. even ade kawan2 laen, but inside me, different. let it be. lama2 nanti ok la tu. aku risau perasaan practical dulu dtg lg. hari2 dtg ofis menangis. tak suke environment mcm tu. suke org ni je, tak suke org tu. puak2. I don't care, just assume mentaliti "org2 govt" begitu.

having long talk with old fren, Wana. panjang lebar nasihat2nya. wishing me all the best. having long talk jugak dgn Ibnu. wow. HAHA. die juga wish perkara yg sama. do take care fren. I doakan baek2 saje utk u. well, missing the other old fren. hope so to hear something from him. atleast. urm maybe bz coz he's having his practical also. *wow, how positive I am! :D*

ya Allah, Langkawi je pun fazreen. bukannya na pegi perang kat serbia pun! HAHA chill la. saje2 je post entri ni. na cheer up myself sbb still berjaga time ni.

before terlupa, last sunday pegi melawat siblings, knon2 3 bulan tak jumpe kan. HAHA :D mula2 pegi umah along. tunggu along smpai petang, da alang2 along ajak pegi makan kat ikea terus. since mmg na jumpa kakak, alang2 ajak kakak makan tugeder2 kat ikea. mcm gathering gitu kan. along belanje. yeay.

saje menggedik gmbr ade butterflies. konon2 cute la.whtever. kinda farewell party jugak la ni kan. dah siap2 record video little amzar wish aku mcm2. well that boy, kalau kite suruh cakap ape2, die ikot je. ha, mcm2 video die wish aku. gud luck la, miss you la, take care la,nyanyi lagu Goyang-Goyang Kepala la..hahaha I'm goin to mish damn much!

td pun jalan2 cari barang ngn mama. mama spend almost rm200 for me. aku mcm miss sgt coz mama duk chemomoi. n I'm keep questioning, how long she'll be there. kesian babah n Ina. tanak family aku duk jaoh2 each other. n now, aku kene pegi practical.ee geramnya! cpat la bwk mak aku blk bentong! mcm ape je duk dlm ceruk tu!

well, luckily aku tolak Karambunai Sabah hari tu. Langkawi pun aku da mcm ape je. I've only got you, my dear family. at this stage baru aku sedar, aku byk membelakangkan family for someone, something yg akhirnya sebenarnya tak bg aku ape2 pun. slowly, aku back to basic. back to the path.

berdoalah supaya baek2 saja. selamat berpraktikal. take care fazreen! *kind of self-motivation* :D

can't stop listening to Noktah Cinta by Hafiz. ok, admit la.suke tgk pipi chubby n curly tu! haha. lagu tu mcm catchy n meaningful gila.